Day 27- SpunOut

Spinning was good this morning. I was tired when I woke up but by the time I got to class and was sweating...well I was smiling.

The Christmas season is again making random strangers nice to each other- every person I passed at the Y smiled at me and said "Good Morning".

Workout: Spinning

Food: The Usual

Day 26- Sugar Plums and Candy Canes

I'm the type of person that can be easily bored or distracted. Yes, I like bright, shiny things and I get my class off track because of my tangents about celebrates and their illegitimate offspring. Routine, although nice and predictable, makes me want to jump off a bridge. That being said, I need to try some new classes in addition to what I am doing. I love that exercise makes me feel, I actually love sweating (I don't love the pain part), I love getting up early, but I'm getting a little bored doing the same things. Wizard and I are slowing adding running, which is challenging and I enjoy- but BodyPump and Spinning are pretty much the same. I find myself cheating-and-or-looking-at-the-clock-to-see-when-class-is-going-to-end. Seriously, the only way I get through Spinning is to knock off the time in five minute increments "25 more minutes until the blood will come back to my ass..."

Here is my issue- when I get bored, whether with food or exercise or laundry or daydreaming or whatever, I just don't want to do it anymore (I know, I'm a child). If I wasn't meeting Wizard every morning I would've already given up on the gym and would be spending my mornings cozy in bed instead of in a smelly locker room. So to combat this, I am going to try some new class at the Y over break for a change. I really would like to test out BootCamp or Zumba...maybe even BodyFlow. The pool is even calling to me- maybe I can even get in some water aerobics.

Food is boring to.

Brace yourself.

I am about 90% sure that I am going to attempt going vegan as of January 1st. Besides the weight loss that would accompany a diet change, I also have animal-lover-versus-mindless-slaughter-issues and I want to have a very healthy diet. I don't want cancer. I don't want MS or ALS or heart disease or diabetes. I'm not going to get all preachy here, it's a personal choice. (Dad keep your opinions about my eating to yourself).

Wizard forgot to wake-up before coming to the gym this morning. She forgot breakfast, a book for tutoring, clean clothes for running this afternoon, deodorant, and to put weights on BOTH sides of her bar when doing the chest presses. Apparently, she was on her back lifting the weights and thinking to herself "Why is my right arm so much stronger than my left arm?". Seconds later- mystery solved= no weights on the left side.

I was pretty pathetic this morning myself. The cold has frozen my brain.

Workout: BodyPump and Running 90 minutes

Food: The usual

Day 28- Boo

Reasons why I am crabby today:

1. Grading...does it ever end?
2. The students are going to be out of control this week because of break.
3. My ass hurts from spinning.
4. Snow. Why couldn't my ancestors immigrate somewhere warm and sunny with citrus fruit?
5. Food is rediculous. Why can't we all just get our nutrition from pills.
6. Slow Drivers.
7. Whining.
8. Why am I not skinny yet? I have been working really hard- I should look like Megan Fox by now.
9. My birthday is coming up.
10. Anything. Really. I. Will. Complain. About. Anything.

Workout: Spinning 45 agonizing minutes

Food: The usual.

Day 24- I want to eat a giant chocolate Santa...

I'm not going to school today (I will be grading all day, thank you very much. Either that or getting caught up in a BG marathon and laying on the couch. Which do you think will win out?)

Even though I am not at school, I still got up at 4am and dragged my tried ass to the gym. Why? you might ask yourself. Why would I get up in a-below-zero-windchill-factor to drive across God's green earth to Woodbury? Because I made a commitment to myself. Because I value my health more than my sleep. Because I'm am really starting to like the gym....

Or it could be that I told Wizard I would be there and I know that she would literally karate-chop my head if I didn't show up. Wizard is kinda violent when she gets worked up and since she towers over me...lets just say I want to keep all my teeth if I can possibly help it.

Remember when I said that Wizard was signing us up for all the races in a tri-state area. We are now going to do a diatholon in Oakdale, my home suburb (go Titans!) in May. Wizard signed us up thinking that by then we'll have the running and biking thing down. It now appears that it's going to be harder to do than the Sprint Triathlon. You run three miles, bike something-like-100-miles, and then run 3 more miles. It's the running at the end that kills you.

Shot me now. Run 6 miles? Can't I just have my jaw wired shut?

This morning we did BodyPump (Wizard is doing the Clean'n'Press wrong- she can't manage to get the bar raised above her giant head. I am wimping out of the lunges because they kill my knees. My butt doesn't need to be too high- I don't want to end up looking like JLo). And after BodyPump we ran/walked. I heart my new shoes.

Weighed myself again. Since I weighed myself last week I have lost another 3.5 pounds- add that to the 3.5 pounds that I've already lost- 7 total since last Tuesday. Although, I am severely dehydrated. Wizard is buying me one of those poles that they hang IV fluid from at the hospital that the patients can wheel around with them so that I always have water with me.

Peace out, friends.

Day 23- Old Man Winter vs. Rachael

The battle began this morning at 4am. The alarm went off and my eyes popped open. Like a child, my first thought was "IsSchoolClosedToday?IsSchoolClosedToday?IsSchoolClosedToday?" (One of the pleasures of being a teacher is having a snow day- for most of us it's exciting. For the math teachers it's chaos.) The thing is, now that I get up so early in the morning no one on the phone tree was going to call me for at least an hour to tell me whether we were having school or not.

I crept carefully towards my window, pulled back the curtain and gazed at the winter wonderland. Sigh. We were obviously going to have school today- call it a teacher's sixth sense. Glancing towards the clock I suddenly realized that if I hoped to make it to the gym on time, I was going to have to leave at least 15 minutes before I usually do. Piling on my winter clothes (picture the kid from the movie "Christmas Story" who can't walk in his snowsuit because it's too puffy- my level three winter clothes) it only took me 20 minutes maneuvering through 5 foot drifts of moving snow to get my car moderately clean. Drifting snow kept piling up on places that I had cleared off.

Driving onto the ramp to 694 I was stuck behind someone who is obviously spending their first winter in Minnesota. Semi's were whizzing past us at an astounding 45 miles per hour and I was at a crawling 10. The visibility and speed were ridiculous...I thought, this can't be safe. Good thing I live in Minnesota.

Long story longer, the instructor didn't even show up for Spinning. He lives in...wait for it, wait for it...Hudson. Do you know how far Hudson is from Woodbury? Like, 15 minutes. Do you know how far Brooklyn Park is from Woodbury? Like, five-hours-uphill-the-whole-way-barefoot-in-12-feet-of-snow. Okay...more like 45 minutes in regular condition's or if you are obeying the the speed limit.

So I led Spinning- all four of us. It was awesome. Are we hardcore? Yes. Yes we are.

Workout: Spinning 40 minutes

Food: The Usual

Day 22- Am I done yet...

Things I would rather do than change my eating habits:

1. Get a cavity filled at the dentist.
2. Clean the oven.
3. Go shopping with Meghan (possibly the ssslllooowwweessstt shopper in history- we once spent two hours deciding between a cross pendant or a four leaf clover pendant, seriously).
4. Pick up all the dog poop in MN.
5. Pick up all the dog hair in my house individually.
6. Walk around a California beach in a swimsuit.
7. Gargle Listerine until my mouth bleeds.
8. Watch a wedding shows marathon for an entire weekend on TLC with my sister Leah (who is a brilliant, creative person...and who also wants to be a wedding planner).

Reasons why I need to change my eating habits:

1. Heart disease, diabetes, cancer.
2. I don't have any cute clothes...and I want to shop.
3. I'm afraid of trying to get on a ride at an amusement park- what if I'm rejected because I'm too fat?
4. Airplane seats- nuff said.
5. I would like to live to be 100 and meet my great-grand kids.
6. Underarm jiggle.
7. I shouldn't be able to use my underwear as a parachute.
8. I would feel better inside and out.


Losing weight is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do. It's hard every time I try to do it- it never gets easier. Losing weight is harder than having two full-time jobs, harder than graduate school, harder than backpacking around Europe by yourself. IT IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE!!! So...to all the skinny people out there who don't have to try- give your fat sisters a couple of breaks. And for all my fat sisters- I love you, keep your spirit up even when the world tries to put you down. And don't listen to Oprah anymore...that lady doesn't know whether she's comin' or goin'.

Workout: BodyPump 60 mins & Walk/Run 30 mins

Food:
The usual

Day 21- I almost puked my guts out...

Friday I didn't post, but I did work out. My mother was so worried that I missed a day of exercise she actually checked with me on the phone to make sure nothing was wrong. Don't worry my dedicated followers, I actually was so busy doing my actual job of - gasp- teaching that I didn't have time to post. By the time I had time, I was too tired. Friday I was in spinning (with the Latina teacher again- her accent works in my favor). Ask Wizard if you don't believe me.

Saturday was a horse of a different color altogether. Saturday was my first day of running. Okay, I don't know if you can really count what I did as running, but Wizard says that it counts and since she is a professional and not afraid of crushing my ego, I'm going to believe her. We did intervals of 1 minute running/2 minutes walking- 10 intervals total. Outside. In the freezing cold.

First, my body went into shock. Luckily, I brought my trusty lab Mufasa along believing the premise that she would pull me when I couldn't go on. Instead she was busy running her leash around my, and Wizard's, legs. Second, my limbs started to go numb. I'm pretty sure that I have never exerted so much energy. I was gasping for breath- I looked like I should be in the intensive care unit somewhere. Wizard didn't know whether to have me put my head between my legs or give me CPR. Runners passing us were giving us dirty looks- me because I am obviously too fat to be running (they probably thought I should be eating a jelly donut somewhere instead of taking up so much space on their precious wooded path- don't mind me for living you asses) and Wizard because she is obviously the dictator of our little duo. I didn't know whether to throw up or cry...so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it was pretty difficult for me.

So this is the time when I mention that Wizard and I are running a 5k in February. The first week of February. I have to be able to run 3 miles by the 6th of February. Is she crazy, you may be asking yourself? Yes, yes I am crazy. Crazy like a fox. Um, or more like a fool.

I have officially signed up for the race in February and the Sprint Triathlon in August. I want to invite everyone to St. Paul on August 22(or 23 or something) to see me triumph in the triathlon. If I finish it in one piece, it will be an astounding success.

Spinning today, Wednesday and Friday.
BodyPump and Running, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.
(PS- You're all invited to workout with me and Wizard at the Woodbury YMCA every weekday morning at approximately 5:30am- be there or be square.)

Food:
1 Liter of Water
High Fiber Oatmeal with 1 cup cherries
Water
Carrots with 2 TBSP hummus and EVOO
Water
Turkey Chili with peppers, onions, and beans
Pear & Diet Coke
Water
Apple with 2 TBSP PB & Diet Coke
Dinner?

Day 17- Yes, I was doing it wrong...

So today's BodyPump was awesome. I really like in instructor and the moves. Unfortunately, I was doing everything wrong. See, I thought that I was getting the hang of all the moves and it was all beginning to be so easy. I even added extra weight to my bar today. The reason everything was getting so easy wasn't because I was turning into a major rockstar- umm, it was because I was doing the majority of the moves wrong. Yep, that's right. I'm supposed to be working my back and I'm working my biceps instead. The reason the tricep curls were so easy- my arms were to far apart on the bar and I wasn't keeping my elbows in. I was swing the weight up with momentum was I was supposed to be stable and working my biceps. So, after all, it's not easy. My body is aching. My triceps and biceps are burning. Tomorrow I think my thighs will tight in spinning.

Wizard is a little grumpy today so I won't mention too much except to say that she looks fabulous in her lime green sweater.

According to the scale at the Y I have lost 3.5 pounds since Monday. I am seriously doubting that this is true. First, because that would be impossible. Second, because the scale at the Y constantly tells me that it needs a new battery so I think it's just throwing up a random number and hoping that I'll be pleased with it.

Workout: 60 minutes BodyPump

Food:
1 Liter of Water
High Fiber Oatmeal with 1 cup cherries
Water
Carrots with 2 TBSP hummus and EVOO
Water
Turkey Chili with peppers, onions, and beans
Pear & Diet Coke
Water
Apple with 2 TBSP PB & Diet Coke
Dinner?

Day 16- The first day I wanted to ...

stay in bed. I woke up with a pounding headache, and I was so tired. It's December 2, which means I need eighteen layers just to let the dogs out to go potty. I hit snooze on my phone and spent the next five minutes thinking up over one thousand excuses to not go to the gym. Here's a general selection:

#47- It's better for the environment if I don't drive my car so much.

#185- The gym smells like ass and makes me nauseous.

#339- Maybe I could be a sumo wrestler- they are athletes AND get to eat tons of food, right?

#632- Sleep tastes better than thin feels. (I've never been thin, so I can say this.)

Long story short, I was at the gym by 5:20 for spin despite the fact that I wanted to kill someone with my bare hands. The instructor is awesome, the music is thumping, the wheels are turning. I literally had sweat running down my face into my eyes. Seriously, how often does anyone have sweat running down their face? I realize this isn't a pretty picture that I'm painting for y'all, but I was pretty proud of myself. Especially considering I'm hitting the hump- the novelty has worn off the gym, the food is still making me gassy, and everyone else is eating Christmas cookies. There's nothing that makes a fat-person-on-a-diet more mad than watching thin people, who invariably talk about how fat they are, stuffing their faces with cookies, cake, fudge, and ribs (okay, the last one is a stretch). But seriously skinny people, take some pity on your fat friends. Don't ask them out to dinner, don't make or bring them baked goods, and if you value your life, don't ever mention how hard it is to find a size double zero in Levi's. Try finding a shirt that will button in the front without gaping when your breasts are the size of watermelons.

Wizard is getting a little whiny too, luckily we have each other to bitch to. It's not so hard once you get to class, it's the getting up at 4am every morning, spending 15 minutes packing all the food I'm going to need for the day every evening, and going to bed at 7:30pm. I feel like a grandma, but at least the sun is down and it's dark.

Workout: Spin for 45 minutes

Food:
1 Liter of Water
High Fiber Oatmeal with 1 cup cherries
Water
Carrots with 2 TBSP hummus and EVOO
Water
Turkey Chili with peppers, onions, and beans
Pear & Diet Coke
Water
Apple with 2 TBSP PB & Diet Coke
Dinner?

Day 15- Open letter to all the althletic ladies out there...

Dear Gym Ladies-

Your dedication to health and fitness is stunning. I am inspired every time time I walk into the locker room at 5:15am and it is filled with ladies of all ages and sizes. Our common desire for health, defined biceps and beautiful buns binds us into a sisterhood of athletes. May I always be a dedicated member of your ranks.

Sincerely, Rachael Erickson.


So you know how I said yesterday that I was determined to eat healthy...well, I did fine until dinner. Due to a personal crisis in the life of one of my best friends I made unhealthy choices. Yes, I use food for comfort. I have since I was a child and would come home from school and the house would smell of baked potatoes and meatloaf- and that food and smell represented 'home' for me. Hence, I still comfort myself (and others) with food. I am working on substitutes (talking to friends or family, exercise, reading, etc.) but it is slow progress.

Today we rocked BodyPump. I still can't quite figure out the right weights for each set but I am sweating and working my butt off in class, so that's progress of some sort. There was a grunting man in class today, which is distracting and I don't want him to breathe on me! Gross.

My goal is to lose 10 pounds by my birthday which is in approximately 19 days. I finally remembered to weigh myself, so I have a starting point. Wish me luck and stayed tuned.

Food:
1 liter water
High Fiber Oatmeal with 1 cup cherries
Carrots with Hummus and EVOO
1 liter water
Turkey Chili with onions, peppers and kidney beans
1 Pear
1 liter water and 1 12oz diet coke
1 apple with 2 tbsp. PB
12oz diet coke
Turkey Chili or Oatmeal for dinner

Day 14- Pass the Mashed Potatoes...

I hope all my peeps had an awesome holiday weekend- I want to say thanks to everyone who has read my blog and responded with encouragement through email, comments or actual face time. I love hearing from all of you, keep it up!!!

Unless you've been living in a cave, you know that Thursday was Thanksgiving. Wizard and I participated in our first ever "Turkey Trot" (hey, it still counts, even if we did walk it and there are pictures to come sometime this week along with my "before" pictures). Next year we're determined to run it with all the tight-wearing-people. I got some dirty looks because I wasn't wearing the tights. I'm going to have to pick up some of those, I really like the multi-colored ones that make you look like a disco reject. Also, need to get some padded shorts and a stronger bra...

Friday, even though there wasn't any school, we still got up (shout out to my sister Meghan who came with) and went to BodyPump at 5:30am. Yes, we are Rockstars, thanks for asking. I then cleaned my house and put up all my holiday decorations. Basically I was trying to find anything else to do besides grading the 5 pounds of papers I brought home (that's how I spent my Sunday, and I mean, I graded ALL DAY).

It was a fairly active weekend, but the eating wasn't so hot. I don't know why I have been craving pizza soo much. But today I officially start the healthy eating leg of my fitness make over. Eighty percent of what I've been eating has been good (fruits, veggies, chicken)...the weekends kick my ass. So from here on out, I am pledging to say more "NO, get that cake the hell away from me" and more "Yes, I would like another double-fiber-fill-me-with-gas-super-rice-cake, thanks."

Workout: Spinning 45 minutes (it totally kicked my ass today, yeah!)

Food:
1 liter water
High Fiber Oatmeal with 1 cup cherries
Carrots with Hummus and EVOO
1 liter water
Turkey Chili with onions, peppers and kidney beans
1 Pear
1 liter water and 1 12oz diet coke
1 apple with 2 tbsp. PB
12oz diet coke
Chipolte lite- bowl with 1/2 the rice, beans, chicken, no sour cream or cheese, guac, lettuce (grandma wants to go)

Day 9- It's only Wednesday???

This holiday week is going to be the death of me. First of all, why in God's name don't we have this entire week off from school. I cannot take the whining or the I-can't-sit-still-in-my-seat-or-I-will-die-please-don't-ask-me-to-concentrate-on-anything-isn't-it-time-for-turkey-yet students, which is pretty much all of them (and some of the teachers too).

Observations:

1. Why do we eat greasy food (and by we, I mean me)? Last night I was starving after tutoring so I stopped by the drive through of my friendly burger place on the way home. I got what I got before my fitness and food makeover, and let me tell you- the greasy burger and fries tasted pretty good going down. (Like years before, I have convinced myself that because this is a holiday week I don't have to follow healthy eating to the letter because- IT'S A HOLIDAY!!! Technically Thursday is the only day I should be treating myself. I think this is why I had previously convinced myself it was okay to eat as many Christmas cookies as I wanted for the entire span of Halloween through Valentines Day.)
Back to the topic on hand- I felt so horrible after I ate that fast food! I don't even mean guilty- I mean, physically I felt gross. I woke up this morning and I wasn't happy, energetic or excited like I've normally been. I was tired and sluggish because I ate that gross food. Anyway, lesson learned. I'm not saying that I won't eat fast food again, but man! It made me feel awful. Working out does make me want to eat better- great side effect of kicking my own butt in the gym.

2. Spinning. If I had a gun I would bring it the the Y just so I could shoot the damn spinning bike. I hate it! As it is, I would've kicked it but it would have totally taken out my foot considering the entire thing is made of steel. I literally waited until the instructor was on her bike, the music had started and the clock had struck 5:30am until I climbed on my bike just so that I didn't have to subject my business to any more torture than absolutely necessary. Once on my bike, I refused to do the standing-up parts because everything had gone numb and I didn't want to shift. I'm pretty sure that every woman knows what I'm talking about here.

3. Wizard is now signing us up for every existing 5k in the tri-state area. Apparently I am a runner, I just don't know it yet. According to Wizard it's all about the training and the bra. Call me a skeptic, but I'm betting a girl(me) that choose her high school sports purely because they involved the least amount of running possible (Volleyball. Which I am not saying isn't a hard sport, but there isn't much running like with basketball or soccer), isn't likely to be an enthusiastic participant. But maybe I'll be more inspired to run if I just get to bitch about it the entire time.

4. Turkey Trot (with Wizard) and yummy food tomorrow. Totally looking forward to it because it's going to be awesome. Friday we're back to BodyPump at 5:30am- got to burn off those pie calories.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Day 8- THANKSgiving....

Things that I am thankful for...

1. A strong body and heart
2. Good friends and family
3. The ability to laugh at myself
4. Recovery from a hard workout
5. Stretching
6. Pizza
7. Cooldown- meaning the workout is over
8. A clean house (who knows when this is going to happen)
9. Fruit
10. Puppies who are excited in the morning.
11. BodyPump and Spinning
12. Sleep


Workout: BodyPump 60 mins

Food:
12 oz coffee with 2 TBSP Hazelnut creamer (I refuse to give this up, it's my one pleasure)
High Fiber Oatmeal with 1 cup blueberries
32 oz water
1 apple with 2 TBSP. PB
2 pieces of PJ Pizza- onion and sausage
1 cup of grapes

Day 7- Adventures in Spinning

Dear Mom,

I am afraid that I will no longer be able to bear you grandchildren because my business was crushed today in Spinning class. My chance for a cute butt is now taking precedence over your chance at immortality. Sorry about that.

XOXO- Rachael


Today was Wizard and my first attempt at Spinning. Let me give you a run down. The room is dark- plus. The bikes look like torture devices- minus. I was sweating like Lance on a hot day in France- plus. I discovered my bra is not strong enough- minus. Wizard almost fainted, making me look better- plus. Wizard totally kicked my ass at the standing up parts- minus. I peddled through the whole class despite the fact that I'm pretty sure I didn't have any blood in my lower extremities- plus. I discovered half-way through the class that my slow peddling was in fact caused because I am out of shape and overweight and NOT because the resistance on my bike peddles was higher than the other participants of the class (like I had been telling myself)- minus. The instructor is foreign, therefore making it harder for me to understand her commands- plus. The instructor is foreign, therefore making it harder for me to understand her commands- minus.

Overall, class was awesome and I'm going to try to maintain this high all day. Wizard helped herself to a donut, but hid in her room so I didn't have to see her eat it. We're solidifying some goals, here they are:

1. January 18th- Shopping spree for new clothes (umm...mom?)
2. Some 5k at some time, somewhere (I'm going to have to buy a stronger bra.)
3. Sprint Triathlon in August (yeah, well see)

Tomorrow is BodyPump.

Don't even ask about the weekend. Let's just say I discovered that you really can have too much grease (I didn't know that was possible), and I will never, ever eat onion rings again.

Workout: Spinning 45 minutes

Food:
12 oz coffee with 2 TBSP Hazelnut creamer (I refuse to give this up, it's my one pleasure)
High Fiber Oatmeal with 1 cup cherries
32 oz water
1 cup carrots with 2 TBSP hummus and EVOO
Salad with red lettuce, grilled chicken, yellow pepper, cucumber- no dressing/vinegar
1/2 of a date bar
32 oz water
1 medium apple with 2 TBSP PB (I will switch to natural/nut butter once the PB is gone)
3 pieces of Papa Johns Pizza- onion and sausage

Day 4- Rachael vs. the Date Bars

Rachael 0
Date Bars 1

When a well-meaning friend/coworker/parent/whoever offers you sweets-that-you-can't-have-in-the-house-without-eating-the-entire-package on Day 3 of your complete-life-makeover, don't take them. I mean, that would be common sense, right? Yesterday, a coworker (who, in her defense, does not know that I have decided to become Angelina Jolie's body double) thought she was doing a good deed by handing over seven leftover datebars for me to take home and enjoy. I tried to refuse them because I knew they were going to be my kryptonite. She then told me how well they freeze and then I can just help myself to one whenever I want a little treat. I mean, you can see where this is going- can't you? I wouldn't be fat if I could control how many sweets I allow myself to have. I have a hard time saying no, and the idea of having a little treat every once in a while seemed like no big deal...Just goes to show how how hard it is to teach a fat girl new tricks.

(Let me just say right here that I am changing my lifestyle, NOT dieting. I want to eat healthier and be more fit- like Angelina or Jessica Biel. I know that I will also occasionally eat pizza, cookies, and anything with cheese. I am not denying myself anything. I even had half of a date bar yesterday after lunch and savored all two bites. I am just trying to make better choices so I can live to see my 30th birthday.)

I got in the car. Like a fool I had the bars sitting right next to me in the passenger seat. I stopped at the first stoplight- and looked down at the bars. I covered them with a sheet of paper. I stopped at the second stop light- and turned on the radio. All I could think about was date bars-date bars-date bars...By the third stoplight the cover was off the Tupperware. I was tearing little pieces of one bar off- just the corners (I was rationalizing, of course). Then one bar was gone. I managed to put the cover back on until I got home.

I won't tell you how this sordid tale ends- but I will say I didn't eat all the bars. The lesson I learned is...sweets are my defeat. I just can't say no! So, I will have to keep them out of the house (and the car) and just enjoy them in a social setting where peer pressure and the idea that every-one-is-watching-what-the-fat-girl-is-eating will (maybe) keep me in check.

In other news, Wizard was a rockstar this morning. She went to "New Moon" last night at midnight and still managed to meet me at the gym at 5:30 (more like 5:45, but who is keeping track?). We hit the treadmill and then headed to open gym to shoot some baskets but were chased out by four large, sweaty behemoths. Poor Wizard almost got run down, but on reflection it could've been part of some prehistoric mating ritual.

Workout: Treadmill 45 minutes

Food:
12 oz coffee with 2 TBSP Hazelnut creamer (I refuse to give this up, it's my one pleasure)
High Fiber Oatmeal with 1 cup cherries
32 oz water
1 cup carrots with 2 TBSP hummus and EVOO
Salad with red lettuce, grilled chicken, yellow pepper, cucumber- no dressing/vinegar
32 oz water
1 medium apple with 2 TBSP PB (I will switch to natural/nut butter once the PB is gone)

Umm...I don't know what is going to happen tonight- "The Brute" and I are going to see New Moon...there will probably be some light beverages and a meal involved.

Day 3

I slept sooo good last night I didn't want to get out of bed this morning. You know when you sleep and dream...and you're floating in some happy, sunny place with the people you love most in the world- well, that was my night last night. So when a loud noise woke me this morning, I was still in my happy place. The dogs were snuggled next to me, it was still dark outside. I thought to myself "Does life get any better than this?"...A few moments passed. Horror started to dawn deep within my brain and thighs. I had to get up. And not only that, I had to go to the gym and BodyPump.

I'm not the only one that is sore. Yesterday, Wizard made her students pick up markers on the floor because she couldn't bend over. The thought of florescent lights and happy people made me want to stay in bed or pack heat. It literally took me three tries to get my shoes on because of the pain it caused me to bend my legs. I don't know if you know this (or care) but toilets are lower to the ground than most chairs are. I avoided going to the bathroom yesterday because of the extra effort it took just to get up and get down.

But then I was in class...and I was sweating...and other people were smiling...and my muscles were aching...and I didn't think I could do one more rep...and I had a revelation. I realized I was doing it. I was DOING IT. That made me smile deep down on the inside. My body isn't beautiful or graceful. I'm certainly not the prettiest or skinniest in any room. But I was having fun and sweating and aching. That moment made me feel so good...and then the moment faded. But it was there! I hadn't felt so good in my body since playing sports in high school.

Ahh...If only I could bottle that feeling this all would be so much easier. When the honeymoon is over and there is ten inches of snow outside and the windchill is twenty below, I'm going to need that feeling.

Workout: BodyPump for 60 mins

Food:
12 oz coffee with 2 TBSP Hazelnut creamer (I refuse to give this up, it's my one pleasure)
High Fiber Oatmeal with 1 cup cherries
32 oz water
1 cup carrots with 2 TBSP hummus and EVOO
Salad with red lettuce, grilled chicken, yellow pepper, cucumber- no dressing/vinegar
1/2 of a date bar
32 oz water
1 medium apple with 2 TBSP PB (I will switch to natural/nut butter once the PB is gone)
Boca Burger on Arnold's 100 calorie bun
2 Cups Veggies of some sort
32 oz water

Day 2

Day 2. It is approximately 6:50am and I am sitting at my computer at school- workout completed. It never occurred to me that it is possible for the entire circumference of your thigh to hurt, but here I am- living proof. Even during volleyball I don't think my legs ever hurt so bad. Well, maybe during River Falls Camp...My butt and the back of my thighs are throbbing, the front are tight and burning...yes, even the sides of my legs ache. I look like I've had hip replacement surgery when I get up and down out of my chair. Did you know the side muscles in your legs can hurt? Yes they can my friend. Yes they can.

My alarm went off at 4am. Even the dogs didn't want to get out of bed. But I managed to make it to the gym almost on time. Last night I spent the better part of two hours preparing for this morning. I didn't realize how much time it was going to take to be healthy, believe me its much easier to buy McDonald's and watch Biggest Loser. Packed my gym bag. Made my lunch. (You can see a run down of what I'm eating today below.) I even grilled chicken at 7pm just so that I could have chicken for salads this week. (At the same time, I was watching NCIS and the other NCIS while this was all going down. I spent the entirety of the second NCIS debating who is cuter- LLCoolJ or that guy from Scent of a Women...what's-his-name, Christian something? Chris O'Donnell. Dreamy. They don't even have to have a plot line for that show. Just have LLCoolJ and Chris O'Donnell read off random women's names while smirking into the camera. "Shelly" "Rhonda" "April"... )

Wizard, of course being the responsible woman she is, called me to tell me that she was running late but still beat me to the gym. She is trying to convince me that a Sprint Triathlon is in my future...August, the same month as the wedding. I was doubtful that I would even be able to run and bike in the same day considering I hate both activities, but as we worked out (no gas issues this time, thank God! Although clenching your butt cheeks together for an hour is a workout, no doubt about it) she tripped and almost fell on her face three times. I'm starting to think that if Wizard can do it with her coordination, I should be a shoe-in. It couldn't have been the fact that she was walking at a 5mph pace- an almost impossible feat, while I was limping along at a 3.3 mph pace. But I did a respectable 45 minutes, only because I had someone to talk to. I don't know how those people with their fancy IPODS can do it, I get so bored. It's easier to work your butt off going no where when you have someone to talk to.

Wizard and I plan on hitting the spinning class once our muscles adjust to BodyPump. I peaked my head in today just to get a feel- hairy teacher and a dark room. Looks perfect for next week.

So...I also forgot to weigh myself today (again). The scale at home doesn't have any batteries. But I'll give you a weekly total of weight lost once I remember to weigh myself.

Workout: 45 minutes on the treadmill.

Food:
12 oz coffee with 2 TBSP Hazelnut creamer (I refuse to give this up, it's my one pleasure)
High Fiber Oatmeal with 1 cup cherries
32 oz water
1 cup carrots with 2 TBSP hummus and EVOO
Salad with red lettuce, grilled chicken, yellow pepper, cucumber- no dressing/vinegar
32 oz water
1 medium apple with 2 TBSP PB (I will switch to natural/nut butter once the PB is gone)
Boca Burger on Arnold's 100 calorie bun
2 Cups Veggies of some sort
32 oz water

Day 1

My younger sister is getting married in August. There is a certain horror for every overweight woman about fitting into a bridesmaid dress, especially a dress that is bound to be short and sleeveless. Instead of sugarplums dancing through my head for the holiday season, I have visions of underarm sweat stains, strained pantyhose and underarms flapping in the wind. So like every overweight sister (I'm projecting here, certainly some women probably have a lot more self esteem than I do) of a younger, skinnier, more beautiful sister- I have decided to lose weight for the wedding. A mad dash before sleeveless season.

Basically I plan on eating healthy (following "Clean Eating") which means for you diet illiterates out there: no sugar, no cola, no white flour, nothing processed. I also plan on working out pretty much everyday. Like a maniac I jumped right in instead of pacing myself like the experts advise (but when have I ever been one to listen to experts) and went to the Y this morning.

My friend Wizard has agreed to attend the grueling torture that is known as "working out" with me. She, of course, is 5'11'' and probably weighs 112 soaking weight. I looked like an overweight asthmatic pug standing next to a great Dane this morning during our first excursion- BodyPump. Not to be confused with BodyPlump- you don't get to sit around eating donuts (which Wizard did promptly after our workout while I slurped down High Fiber Oatmeal- yum). Basically we lifted weights to music. It was fun until my muscles started trembling. I don't know if I was more concerned with collapsing onto the floor into a sweaty heap or passing gas.

I was the most overweight person in the room, which is starting to be an embarrassing trend. I also was slightly invisible. If you're not overweight you probably don't know this- the fatter you are the more invisible you become. It's true...today I realized that I've even avoided looking at myself in the mirror. I didn't realize this until I was surrounded by mirrors- it was like shock therapy. I kept looking around the room for my own reflection...because I didn't believe what was in front of me.

This is going to be my record. I will blog food, exercise, thoughts, and etc. everyday. Family will be able to follow my progress without constantly having to ask me what I'm doing to lose weight, how much weight I've lost, whats the deal with my weight, whether I should eat that steak and I will have an outlet for my...frustrations.

So far today:

Workout: BodyPump for 60 mins

Food
12oz coffee with 2Tbsp Hazelnut Creamer
1 Package High Fiber Oatmeal
32oz water+32 oz water
1 PB and J sandwich on multi grain bread (haven't started the clean eating yet- next week)
24oz of Diet Coke
1 fortune cookie given to me by a student (Fortune: You wear your heart on your sleeve)